“Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say” : Authenticity at its Best

When you are your authentic self, the above phrase comes naturally. As someone who
prides herself on honest communication, I consciously am aware to ‘say what I mean
and mean what I say.’ However, in work situations, some people choose to ‘go along to
get along’, rather than state how they truly feel. Depending on the situation or context,
this can deter from the working relationship and cause barriers that don’t need to exist.
This can occur in both professional and personal relationships.

Authenticity involves being true to oneself and genuine with others. It requires
understanding your own values, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses.

Here are some key traits associated with authenticity:

1. Honesty: Authentic people are truthful and transparent in their words and actions,
avoiding deceit. Words and actions match.

2. Consistency: Authentic people present themselves consistently over time and
behave congruently with their beliefs and values.

3. Vulnerability: Genuine individuals aren’t afraid to show vulnerability or express true
emotions, even if it means exposure to potential judgment.

4. Acceptance of Imperfection: Authentic individuals embrace their flaws and aren’t
afraid to make mistakes.

Some years ago, I told my boss about a mistake I made; my colleague at the time said,
“I can’t believe you did that- weren’t you afraid?” And I looked at her and said, “No. Why
would I be?” She replied indicating he (the boss) would think less of me. I will never
forget the look on her face when I said, “It takes strength and confidence to admit
mistakes. I want to do my best. I can’t do that if I can’t admit my errors and get
feedback.” Honestly, I didn’t know if she was more horrified that I didn’t care what he (or
she) thought, or that I had enough confidence to admit my flaws. Admitting mistakes
displays honesty, consistency, vulnerability, and acceptance of imperfection.

5. Empathy: They demonstrate empathy and understanding towards others, showing
genuine care and concern for the well-being of those around them.

6. Open-mindedness: Authentic people are open to new ideas, experiences, and
perspectives, and are willing to listen and learn from others.

7. Self-confidence: Authentic people have a strong sense of self-worth and are
comfortable within themselves, without feeling the need to conform to external
expectations.

8. Boundaries: Authentic individuals set clear boundaries in their relationships and are
assertive in communicating their needs and values.

Workplace communication difficulties may occur more frequently than we’d like. When
you say “I’ll get it done by the 5th”, get it done by the 5th. “I will give you an update in 2
hours” or “let’s touch base at the end of the week” are benign examples of how when
your actions don’t match your words, your credibility takes a hit. If you’re not sure you
can do something, say so. “I understand this is an important project. I’ll try to get it done
by Friday. If I can’t, I will let you know on Thursday so we can figure something out
together.” You communicate empathy, honesty, confidence and demonstrate
boundaries.

Developing authenticity within oneself can lead to deeper connections with others,
increased self-esteem and self-fulfillment, and leads to a stronger sense of purpose in
life.

Until next time,
Amy
“All real, all the time.”